It just doesn't feel the same. In a make-believe world I am Kate Moss snorting coke.

You want an orange but an orange you don't have. Will you be content with an apple then? Maybe. You can get the nutrients all the same. An apple won't hurt your tummy like an orange would. And everyone knows an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

But alas you're still your stubborn self and you seek for an orange despite knowing how much it will physically hurt you. There will be a point in time when hospitals may deny you. You don't care for now.

Self mutilation comes in so many forms. Sad but true.