Sheep are better options. Are there sheep?

Mukadimah: God has great plans for us and they go beyond our expectations all the time. So don't curse yourself for being a clumsy lot, hitting G instead of LG.

Jam sudah pukul 1. Ani tak mau pegi makan? (Mau mau...)
So there I was in the elevator, while nervously waiting for Aggie (cepat la Aggie..lambatnyeee).

Lantai G
He was well-dressed, and pretty good looking. She was not half as bad. He was carrying her up the staircase, a-la newlyweds walking from the altar off to the honeymoon suite. But her expression didn't look too pleasant. Sakit kot? But why would he take the staircase instead of the lift? I thought "gila mamat ni perasan macho nak angkat awek sakit balik ofis naik tangga. But wait, tak penah pun tgk mamat ni kat blok ofis kitorang ni... hmmm".

(Do you know that our brains process data/information so rapidly, in such high-throughput, that all these questions managed to actually run across my head in less than a nanosecond?)

She dropped her purse. Struggled to break free. As the elevator door lift slowly shut I began to suspect something amiss. My right hand went on auto-pilot pressing the 'open door' button. Aggie walked out. Girl dropped butt first on the staircase and guy still tried to drag her up by grabbing her ponytail.

Terkedu
Ya, that was my immediate reaction (hand still fixed on the 'open door' button here mind you). I called for Aggie who was already out of the building. Don't know why also. Terperanjat okeh? Like, apakah yang sedang berlaku ini? Guy still pulling girl's hair. Girl softly cried in protest. Tak nak...tak nak... Guy looked at me. I, errr...reciprocate? My eyes went terkelip-kelip looking back at him. But guy didn't look like he cared. I wasn't scared. I wanted to help yet I didn't intervene either. I walked out of the lift lobby. Head still 'terteleng-teleng' at the guy.

Code Blue
Aggie was telling Syahrir and Cus 'ada orang tarik rambut perempuan kat dalam’ (Syahrir's recollection is she said 'cabut' instead of 'tarik'. haha ye lah kot). I explained to them further but out of sheer panic can't exactly remember what I said. So the two guys and Izzie (also a guy, heh) went in and the drama unfolds as told in the following blog post by Encik Shawn Michaels: Aku, Cus dan menu MPH Book Cafe yang membosankan

Cause and effect
Girl wanted off, guy couldn’t handle reality.
Girl wasn’t firm enough, guy resorted to being a cissy. Halo, pukul pompuan. Super cissy okeh?

The 411 to breaking up with an abusive partner

1. Just do. Period.
2. Do it over digital medium. Avoid room for physical contact. And you’ll have less explanation to do.
3. No, tak payah nak jumpa jumpa dah lepas tu.
4. And delete him/her from your facebook and the likes. And don’t pine for him via your shoutout. It hinders new nice potentials (ie guys emak will approve) from super-poking you. (that’s what people do in facebook kan? Kan? Kan?)
5. If you must see him/her for the last time (please excuse me but you guys are always the pathetic kind anyway for having hooked up with such a person and i strongly feel that you will be wanting to meet walaupun mulut berkata tak mau hati mau juga kerana sifat menggetis itu semulajadi ada), do it in public. And by public I don’t mean an office building staircase. In public, it is highly likely that there are macho macho men (seperti colleagues saya itu) around to save your sorry ass from harm.
6. Honestly, if you must must must go see him/her, have a friend, much like Kak Nas, to accompany you during the sesh. Kalau nak kena penderaan verbal dan emosi balik dengan dia cuba la apa-apakan kamu.
7. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
8. Stop falling for his apologetic post-abuse self yet again. Keep forgetting that he’s done it? One hit, two hits, three hits more!
9. Stop going through the same cycle, jumping from one abusive partner to another.
10. Take up a hobby. It’s calming, promotes creativity hence the generation of new brain cells or triggering of neuron sparks in your brain or something smart like that. Hence better level of intelligence. Hence you achieving an end to looking and behaving like a bimbo/himbo.

So Girl, learn your lesson well. And take up yoga for your injured pelvic. (No Myra babe, by Girl I don't mean you although we do need to act on the True Yoga membership we unknowingly signed up for.)

On another note, a guy friend was mildly sexually harassed by another guy in a wheelchair whom he helped with accessing the elevator.

Whatever the hell is wrong with the world la?????

AdIePoTT do not condone sexual and physical abuse (but is ok with abusing her paycheck all the time)